Ohsheaga!

I wined and bitched about the folk fest eye raping, that was nothing compared to the beating my poor blue eyes are taking in Montreal. They are bleeding as badly as they did at coachella. C'mon canada. Get your shit together.

Must get another beer to save my retinas.

Xoxo H

Afternoon delight

I popped into Starbucks for a pre pedicure pick me up and I'm so glad I did! I saw 2 spectacular people. And by spectacular I mean ridiculous.

What kind of grown assed man wears a purple flower on his lapel? A gay man one would think, not a guy who was just making out with an exceptionally hot chick. Wtf? And to the lady in the bad full length SKIN TIGHT leopard print skirt with stripped shirt, please look in the mirror before leaving the house. My eyes can't handle the burning feeling you're giving them!

Xoxo H

Also, to the guy doing my pedicure, stop asking if it hurts. If you think it's going to hurt, don't do it! We also just had a conversation about cities and provinces. I had to clarify that Toronto is in Ontario, not the other way around. He was confused....

Folk wine!

Day 3 of folk fest, all that's left is for me to do is drink wine and try to not get surprise sexed (that's what they call rape in Edmonton).

The crimes against Hannah keep coming. I'm not sure if I love or hate it. All I know for sure is that wine is making is making me want to punch people in their faces.

Here is a glimpse into what I've seen today. Not in this list is a looney toons tattoo, fail I know!

Xoxo H

Folk fest. Part 2

Not sure what to say about folk fest other than holy shit my eyes are getting raped. So many crimes against humanity. People need to die.

I'm live blogging again, this time from a table full of strangers and a guy who is calling me dirty boots. Or maybe dirty boobs. And a lady who loves dragon flies. And a guy who broke into a random poem. Fml. There is also a guy wearing plaid on plaid with white sport socks. I chased him down for a pic!

Anyways, here are a few shots of what's going on around me....

Xoxo H

Folk feet. Day 1

So I'm volunteering at folk fest and am hammered, having a blast. There is so much to report but I can't. To drunk. Instead, look at our feet.

Xoxo H

Ps. We have pickles!

Did you lose your pants?

Found, one pair of diesel jeans. Men's. Complete with eau de urine and other bodily fluids.

If you lost your jeans, you can find them in the bushes outside of my office. I hope you lost them there when you were watching me change my outfit in my office. I was getting naked just for you.

Xoxo H

Lunch time creeping

I met my HLP for lunch today at her buildings food court in an attempt to get some new sightings, and yeah I did! I was late to meet her which resulted in her sending me a bitchy I'm hungry, get your ass in here now text, but I was blog creeping, so I thought it was an acceptable "I'm late" excuse.

I'm walking across the street to meet her when I'm blinded by bedazzles! There is a mom with her two kids and grandma doing something and wow her shirt was ridiculous. So after following them for half a block I was able to creep this beauty!

So much bedazzling!

I also love gradma's Calgary Tuxedo and white cowboy boots!

Worth being a few minutes late for lunch I think... AND THEN because I was late it meant that lunch ran a few minutes later and because of that, THIS HAPPENED!!! The pics do not do it justice, but below you will find a shirt (worn as a dress) and tights.  These are NOT leggings. They are tights.  See-through, wear under a dress tights.  I then followed her around taking her picture while security looked at me like I was insane. Clearly I am not insane. I am not wearing tights as leggings.  My skirt comes down to my knees - the same can't be said about her.

My friend also said I should start blurring faces... and I am torn on this.  I see why she is saying that, but if I were to be seen on someones "don't dress like an ass-hat" blog I would want my face to be shown so that someone who loves me could spot it an point out that I look like an ass-hat and tell me to stop dressing like that.  It would also then involve me doing some editing on my iPhone (where all these pics are taken from) and I'm lazy... But if enough of you think I should blur faces, let me know and I will try to maybe blur some.  Or not.  

xoxo H